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Nerves (Part Two)

Welcome back! I’m glad you are here! Last week I shared what my intentions are with this blog/devotional. This week I will share the why behind the what.

About three months ago, my heart was moved to share with anyone willing to read or listen about the events of my life. Writing is my passion, something I love doing, something I feel absolutely compelled to do every single day. I either write in a journal, jot notes in my planner, or work on a big writing project; but no matter what, I write. This is something that has been in my blood for as long as I can remember. At times, it seems as though I write better than I speak; although I am getting better at being vocal these days.

Some things you must understand about the writer in me:

  • I can sometimes be an introvert, especially about my writing

  • I am self-conscience about anyone reading what I have written, even my husband

  • I can be self-deprecating when it comes to what I have written

  • My anxiety rises at the very thought of someone reading what I write

Even though writing has been a serious focus of mine for about fifteen years, until about three months ago it never occurred to me to share my writing with anyone. What changed three months ago? Well, that is where things became interesting.

In late September of 2015, I rededicated my life to Christ. I felt like a brand new person! The anxiety of life that I had been living with slowly began to wash away. Journaling became more and more frequent for me and I felt as if my pen was on fire. In February of 2016, I felt the strong urge to work on a book. One early morning as my eyes opened to face the day, in my heart I knew exactly what I needed to do. I embarked on a journey to tell my story because I just simply had to.

As a result of this pivotal moment, I made the decision that, with God’s help, I would place my anxiety on a shelf (at least until I finished the project). I could do this because I knew my words would not be read until much later when my endeavor was ready to be released to the world (or at least my little world).

God has been my guide as I type or write each word and I know that He is with me now as I begin to share with everyone here. At times the anxiety falls off of the shelf, but He helps put it back where it belongs. That is why I am here, doing this, at this very moment. Because I have to. I don’t have a choice. In my heart I know it is what I am meant to do.

I will return next week with more and you can find me on social media by following the links in the left hand menu. Thanks for sharing in my journey!

This is my story, what's yours? Tell me in the comments below or contact me (I would love to use your story on my site - with your permission and only names if you wish)!