Trusting people has been a struggle for me my entire adult life. Distrust began for me as a teen and deepened as I aged. Things that occurred in my past, people that had said one thing and done another, and hurtful events that had happened to me created the inability to trust people and situations. If someone promised something, I didn't believe the promise. I recall my dad telling my mom and me more than once that he would stop drinking, but time and again he didn't stop. I viewed his promises as lies.
As a result of my dad's broken promises, I had a difficult time trusting in God. I had been told in church how God loved me, but I struggled to believe it. I read in the Bible of a God who would never leave me or forsake me, but I just couldn't believe that promise. Not only did I have issues with trusting the people in my life, I also had issues with believing God is true and faithful.
Six years ago today, I married my husband, Patrick. I didn't realize it at the time, but he is an alcoholic. A little over one year has passed since I told him I could no longer live with alcoholism. Although Patrick never did anything to mistrust him, his alcoholism reminded me so much of dad. When I thought my marriage was ending and I had a deep desperation for peace from the insanity of alcoholism, I cried out to God for answers. I begged for help and tranquility. I pleaded for God to save me from one more hour of unrest within my soul. Finally, I prayed for guidance. After the tears began to flow, I felt the urging to open the Bible and read the truth. In the dark place of living with an alcoholic, God the Father met me there. He comforted me with his words from Proverbs 3:5-6:
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways submit to him,
and he will make your paths straight.”
During our separation I found the ability to trust in Jesus. Trust didn't develop overnight, but time in prayer and reading God's Word has helped me see God's promises are true. He can be trusted. I am still learning to trust, but if I don't take action to trust in God the Father, then He doesn't have anything to work with. Trust and faith go hand in hand. Without one the other is absent. I must submit to him and he will make my paths straight. He has done exactly that!
"Trust and faith go hand in hand." - Kimberly Dewberry
Patrick has praised God for one year of sobriety recently. He returned home to me shortly after he found sobriety and the loving grace of Jesus. We are both in biblically based recovery programs. We take one day at a time with God as the focal point of our healing journey. I am thankful to God for saving my husband from the bondage of addiction. I am thankful to God for saving me from the shame and guilt of living with alcoholism for so many years.
Think About It:
Do you struggle with trust?
What are the roots of your distrust?
Read Psalm 9:10, 2 Samuel 7:28, and Psalm 56:3
Can you start trusting in God's promises to be faithful and true?
Journal About it:
Journal about how the scriptures today resonated with you. As you write, let go and place your trust in God's promises.
Pray About it:
As you think and write about your issues with trust, say this prayer with me.
Thank you for your promises of trustworthiness. Help me to place my trust in you to be faithful, loving, and merciful. Help me to begin today trusting the trustworthy people in my life. Guide me and show me the way. I praise you for continuing to draw me near to you.
In Jesus’ Precious Name,
Talk About it:
This is my story, what’s yours? I would love to hear from you! I enjoy connecting and keeping in touch. Do you feel as though you don’t have anyone you can share with confidentially? Your anonymity is protected. Do you feel you are the only one struggling with the aftereffects of growing up with an alcoholic parent? Sweet sister, YOU are not alone! It’s time to break free from the shackles of your shame, fear, and anxiety! Tell me about it by clicking this link!