For years I watched as my dad drank himself out of our family. As a result of his addiction to prescription pain medication and alcohol, he became a homeless man living under bridges. As a teen-age girl, watching her father slowly slip away, I felt helpless to stop it.
Years later, I found myself watching my husband slowly doing the same thing. Since addiction is a disease that intensifies slowly, a few beers turns into a twelve pack or two before the addict or their loved ones know it. My husband didn't intentionally develop into an alcoholic, no more than my dad did. It is something they were both born with. The addiction is a genetic disease according to the American Medical Association. For them, it only takes one drink of alcohol to become addicted to it.
Like with my dad, I felt helpless to stop my husband from drinking. My lack of control of Patrick's addiction caused a deep need to control other areas of my life. I attempted to control how much he drank by buying his beer for him. Before I knew it, I had become co-dependent and in need of controlling every other aspect of our lives. My world began to spin around in a perpetual circle of me trying to control the outcome of every situation. All the while, I felt completely out of control. Can you relate?
My life had become completely unmanageable. I had tried for so many years to be God instead of letting God be God. After reading Matthew 16:24 I finally realized I had to deny my selfish need to control situations and outcomes.
"Then Jesus said to His disciples, 'If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross and follow Me. For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it; but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it.'"
I continuously searched for a way to not lose my life with my husband. Fear that he would become homeless and apart from me like my dad is what caused the distorted thinking. Reading Matthew 16:24 made me realize, in order for me to find the life I need, I have to deny my selfishness, take up my cross of faith and follow Jesus and his ways. Once I did, I found the peace and serenity of recovering from living with alcoholism.
"I am not in control of people or situations. God is in control. " - Kimberly Dewberry
I am not in control of people or situations. God is in control. He knows what is best for us. We must have the faith to believe he will take car