My recovery journey began over a year ago in the dark early morning hours. My alcoholic dad had passed away the month before and I couldn't see past the grief and regret left behind. For weeks, God tugged at my heart, but initially I ignored him. I began to slowly see how Patrick's alcoholism was effecting me. Deep down I knew, but I chose to stuff my feelings.
God found me with my hurts scattered around on the floor of my soul. Finally, in a completely broken place, I begged Him for guidance. Have you been there? Have you been so completely broken, you needed someone to rescue you?
Did God speak to me? Yes he did. Not in a loud voice, but He did urge me to find that Bible I had stuffed on a bookshelf. Once I opened it, I realized what I needed to do. I had one of those "read the Bible in a year" Bibles. Each day of the year has a particular group of scriptures to read. That morning and each morning that followed, I read. Every time I received comforting words of encouragement and guidance.
I began to follow the guidance of Proverbs 16:3:
"Commit your works to the Lord And your plans will be established."
Once I did, things began to fall into place. He established my plans because I committed myself to Him.
The guidance came slowly, but I began to realize the love and forgiveness God had for me. All I needed to do was accept it. It was as if every scripture had been written specifically for me. I've had issues with trust for most of my adult life, so being able to trust God didn't come easy for me. God is patient, though. He knows me better than I know myself. His patience is beyond any earthly parent can give.
My heart needed to be broken so that God's love could fill it up. I had built a wall around it and I didn't allow anyone in, not even God. It was in my brokenness I found peace.
Without realizing it, I began my recovery journey that day. I admitted my life had become unmanageable and I could no longer handle things without God's help. My attempts to control my own life and the lives of others had failed miserably. I could not continue on this path. I desperately needed a new one. God gave it to me.
Think About It:
Have you reached a state of brokenness?
What has effected you in this way?
Have you asked God to help you?
What is holding you back?
Journal About it:
Follow along in the My Journey Journal (subscriber password required) and write about how the questions and scriptures today resonated with you. As you write, thank Him for His patience.
Pray About it:
As you think and write, say this prayer with me.
Thank you for rescuing me. Thank you for your patience, love, and grace. I praise you, Jesus, for making my plans and establishing my path.
In Jesus’ Precious Name,
Talk About it:
This is my story, what’s yours? I would love to hear from you! I enjoy connecting and keeping in touch. Do you feel as though you don’t have anyone you can share with confidentially? Your anonymity is protected. Do you feel you are the only one struggling with the aftereffects of growing up with an alcoholic parent? Sweet sister, YOU are not alone! It’s time to break free from the shackles of your controlling habits, trust issues, co-dependency, guilt, self-blame, hurts, regrets, and heartaches!
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