It is difficult to admit when we are wrong. We’ve established this fact as we embarked on Step 5. But, how hard is it to ask others to forgive us when we are wrong? It used to be extremely hard for me.
I heard someone say or read somewhere “Love is never having to say you’re sorry.” Who in the world said that? Obviously, someone who thought they were always right about everything. Actually, I used to feel this way. There was a time where I thought I had to be right. Okay, sometimes I still do, but after going through the steps of recovery I can see when I am definitely wrong about a choice, reaction, or feeling.
Something someone says or does will remind me of my past and it will trigger a reaction in me that I am not always proud of. Anger, resentment, fear, pride, selfishness, self-preservation; the list goes on. Here’s the deal. Love is ABOUT sometimes having to say I’m sorry. But it’s more than the action of verbalizing “I’m sorry” and moving on. It is about actually meaning it and turning away from doing it again. This is part of repentance.
How about if I have wronged God? You read that right. I have realized through recovery, my actions and choices also hurt God. God tells me through His word, that He grieves with me (Ephesians 4:30). He hurts when I hurt (Isaiah 63:9). He has the same emotions I do. He relates to me. So, it stands to reason, I can hurt God by my actions and my words towards His children.
Paul explains this to the people of Ephesus. In Ephesians, Paul writes to the people to explain several points, one of which is how to treat one another. Specifically, in Ephesians 4:32, Paul tells the people to;
“Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.”
I am Christian. I know I am forgiven. That doesn’t mean I don’t continue to do things that grieve the Holy Spirit. The difference between my old and new self, as a result of my Christianity, is I recognize when I have hurt others and God with my words or actions. I have the desire to make things right. I have the need to repent for my actions.