Hey all the single ladies!
Singleness will always be a popular topic of conversation.
How do you view singleness? A curse, a disease, a sore, or maybe a taboo subject. To you it could be a trigger to painful memories that “everyone” else is married, has or is having children, or everyone else is in a relationship but you?
Hear me when I say I totally get it! Often times in my journey of singleness, I’ve had the same thoughts. I’ve never been in a relationship before. Over the years I’ve read books, blogs, articles, attended teachings about relationships, and listened to Sermons on the topic. In fact, I’ve had over 10 years of the same teachings about relationships, how to date, how to prepare for marriage. They all have something different to offer us single ladies.
Now, without sounding like I’m against teachings about relationships, let me assure you that I’m all for teaching! Here’s my 411 on singleness.
God, is there something wrong with me?
Ever asked God this question before? I have! Especially after a friend got married, had a baby, or news of someone else getting engaged reached my ears!
After making several mistakes of misreading signs that a Christian guy “likes me” I’ve discovered that actually he’s just being nice. I’ve also questioned myself about a text message I received meant something more than what it said. Often times when we are in the singleness, we can read into things because we have those relationship goals to be like others in our circle.
How do I know if he really likes me? 🤔
Listen, if a guy wants to get to know us more and pursue a Christ centered relationship with us (shy or not) HE WILL TELL US.
I just want to encourage you in this, if you’re in the situation where you’ve been getting to know a guy that you like (and I mean more than physically) and he encourages you to draw closer to God and you do the same, give him some time, give him grace, to do what God has created him to do – LEAD.
If he’s serious about pursuing a real relationship, for him there’ll be things that he needs to do, before approaching you. He’ll want (we hope) to pray and talk about it with God FIRST, then his Pastor or Godly men in his life, and one or two of his boys, but he will let you know, you won’t be left confused!
I’ve learned the real question I need to ask myself, wasn’t what’s wrong with me, rather, Lord show me how to love myself. Look to God for guidance in why I keep repeating the same mistakes, expecting a different result 🤦
And God did just that.
I pray that what I’ve learned and am still learning encourages you:
1. Get to know God intimately
The more time we spend with God, at His feet and in His Word, the more we begin to reflect His likeness and image.
“So God created man in his own image; he created him in the image of God; he created them male and female.”
I’ve learned we can either be like Mary, who sat at the feet of Jesus, or Martha, fleeting up and down rushing around to get things ‘in order’. All that’s really required is to just sit at the feet of Jesus, learn to rest and be content in His presence.