and What Does That Even Mean?
When I first began a recovery program, I heard people talk about being codependent. I had no idea what in the world that phrase truly meant and didn't know if I would qualify as one or not. Then I began studying the word, and through working the 12 steps of recovery, I could see codependency is exactly what I could identify with.
You may have asked yourself the question, Am I Codependent? While in recovery, I started asking myself that question, but I needed to know more. I began to educate myself on what it means to be codependent. Realizing codependency played a role in many of my relationships helped me to take the next steps to freeing myself from the patterns. Read the following statements and ask yourself, "Does this sound like me?". You can also take the interactive quiz here: Am I Codependent?
1. I do not feel I am good enough and I compare my life to everyone else’s
2. I am a people pleaser and peacekeeper
3. I feel the need to fix or rescue people
4. Fear and anxiety are the primary emotions in my relationship
5. I am ashamed at what is going on in my relationship, but I am afraid to say anything to anyone
6. I tend to be reactive instead of proactive
7. I am only happy if my spouse/friend is happy
8. I need to control people, situations, and outcomes
If you answered "yes" to the majority of these questions, then you are codependent. Much like the alcoholic, we are addicted to being codependent. We become drawn to trying to fix people, controlling situations, and pleasing others. It's almost like we cannot live without doing these things. You can break free from the endless cycle that is weighing you down.