As I prepare for some major transitions in my life, I can't help but quietly reflect on my past, the good, the bad and the ugly. How God has been with me through it all, and the hope I have in Him. While my family’s money problems, health problems, and relationship problems worsen, God continues to bless me.
There are days I feel like I don't deserve this life I have. The loving husband I have or even the beautiful daughter God has blessed us with. I still can't comprehend that my home is a place of security and love (a far cry from the hostile and fragile one of my upbringing), and I don't live in fear of where the money will come from in order to pay the bills or put food on the table.
These days my dad is wasting away, as his addiction is killing him, and he is perfectly content in doing so, while my mom is dealing with the loss of her marriage and as many codependents do (myself included) busy busying herself with other people's problems in an effort to avoid facing her own. My younger brother is trying to process the end of his marriage and figure out how to move forward. Meanwhile, I'm over here able to stay home and take care of our daughter and preparing my family to move across the country to a beautiful location in the next few months.
It seems as though God has smiled on me, but I can't help but wonder, "Why me?" "Why do I get this life, while my loved ones struggle so much?" I certainly wasn't the picture-perfect daughter or sister growing up so why is it that my life is significantly more stable than it was growing up?